Cock shots are not cool (nor are pussy pics).

BRITAIN-GERMANY-ARTS-SCULPTURE

Last week I made the decision (mistake?) of downloading an app called ‘SnapChat’ to my newly purchased Samsung S4.  More than anything, I was curious to know what all the fuss was about.  While it can be mildly amusing at times, I can see how it can become easily addictive and be another reason that individuals waste more time ‘snapchatting’ about their lives than actually getting on with them.

Gail Dines, one of the most vocal anti-porn feminists that I faced in my first university debate at the Cambridge Union, will tell you that most technological advances are driven by the porn industry through man’s increasing desire to be able to most effectively watch and record sex.  As far as I’m concerned, that’s a lot to thank the porn industry for!  Whether or not pornography is the driving force behind various developments in technology, one thing seems apparent – that whenever you create a way for individuals to connect and share pictures, cock shots will always make an appearance!

What is it about men and their penises?  It has always puzzled me why some think so highly of their cocks.  To be honest, I don’t find them particularly attractive.  Sure, I regularly get naked for my work, but that is not because I believe I have an amazing penis and that the world needs to see it, but because, firstly, I have no qualms with nudity and, secondly, I present my genitals along with the rest of my body.  I recognise that the male form in all its naked glory can be a striking thing – this is what I strive for.  But a shot of a cock in all its lonesome ‘glory’, I have never understood the appeal of.

So, why then, do various men take it upon themselves to solicit me with uninvited pictures of their penises?  Send me one of your body and I can marvel at your physical achievements and the work you may (or, more often, may not) have put into it. Send me one of your cock, and you’re liable to make me vomit within my own mouth.

You see, the difference between me doing pornography, having a pornographic website and other related profiles, is that those things are for people who CHOOSE to seek them out.  I NEVER sent anything of an ‘adult’ nature, to individuals who haven’t CHOSEN to see it.  People choose, and often pay, to see my porn.  I’d rather not have random pictures of various men’s penises inflicted upon me, thank you very much.

For a long time, I have advertised my ‘adult’ services through a profile on a website.  It amazes me how the vast majority of men of that site will have, as their main profile picture, simply a photo of their penis.  I mean, what does that really tell you about that person apart from the fact that (hey, here’s a surprise!) they have a penis?  As a prospective customer, it tells me nothing of the overall package and of the services they offer.  If anyone selects any of these service providers simply based on a shot of their cock, I would be enormously surprised.

Rifle through the hundreds of profiles of female service providers on the same website and you’d be hard pushed to find any pussy pictures.  That I can guarantee.  Most women seem to understand that we are not simply a body of parts, but a whole body.  Let me also state, whilst on the subject, I am equally against the unsolicited sending of pussy pics too.  So please don’t think this is simply an attack on my fellow men.  It is not.

I have never, in my entire life, posted a cock shot.  Sure, you can find many pictures of me with my penis out all over the internet.  But in that picture you will also usually see most of my body and often my face.  If there are close-up shots, they are taken by photographers and usually depict (trying my best not to sound too crude) my member inside one, or other, orifice of the lady I happen to be performing alongside.  The idea of simply sending someone a picture of my chap had never occurred to me and is, still now, something I have never the intention of doing.

On Monday, BBC Woman’s Hour will be asking “Where can we find all the penises?”.  I am sure it has been prompted by this recent video http://www.upworthy.com/think-seeing-a-little-male-nudity-on-tv-is-too-explicit-then-its-time-to-hear-the-hard-truth .  Having shown my penis on both national TV (once, by mistake, in Spain and once in a documentary on Channel 4) and in the cinema film ‘The Knot’, I am certainly doing my bit to rectify the ‘problem’.  Of course, I do recognise that breasts are increasingly ‘everywhere’ and that todgers are hard (excuse the pun) to find.   However, breast tissue, attached, as it is, to your chest muscle, is not the equivalent of a man’s genitals – the CHEST is.  If the question is, “where are the penises?”, surely the answer is:  “where the vaginas are”.

A fellow campaigner and worker in the erotic field pointed out to me that the similarity is more about the response that can be illicited.  That men react to breasts in the same way that women can react to penises.  I think she’s right.  But consider this:  there would have been a time when seeing naked male torsos all over the media would have been considered taboo.  We have now been subjected to decades of seeing Mr.Atlases and Olympias striking a pose, models like Tyson Beckford on our billboards, singers like Marky Mark and Peter Andre stripped to their pants on their albums and in their concerts, every soap opera having its hunk who regularly has reason to remove his t-shirt, magazines like Men’s Health and Men’s Fitness covered with the photoshop enhanced and airbrushed physiques of perfectly toned fitness models, not to mention the crappy gossip mags filled with ‘torsos of the week’ or another papped shot of a celeb bronzing himself on the beach.  We have become so used to the semi-naked male and his bare pectorals, we rarely batter an eyelid nowadays.  Why do we complain that the tabloids have a topless woman on their third page and that lad’s mags should be removed from our supermarkets because they are offending the women who have to view them, when countless men’s nipples can be easily viewed on every shelf for anyone of any age to view? – teen mags, boxing mags, wrestling mags, pop mags, film mags and the list goes on – take your pick!

Maybe the call for cock from some females (and undoubtedly males as well) is simply a sign that the attention is once again shifting back to the male.  That breasts have become, thankfully, accepted.  OK, we can’t quite yet claim those of an anglo-saxon heritage have attained the maturity of most of our European counterparts who do see female breasts virtually no differently that those of their male counterparts to the extent that you can easily see them in daytime adverts for shower creams, in ‘normal’ magazines and on every beach in the summer months, but maybe, just maybe, we’re getting there.  We now embrace the exposed pectorals of every buff adonis who chooses to show them, women’s breasts are being gradually accepted and celebrated as ‘normal’ however they wish to be flaunted – whether in bra or out, maybe now its the turn of the cock!

Either way, whatever hypothesis may be true and irrespective of the trends of our developing  acceptance of human nudity, sending a cock shot (or a pussy pic) is never cool.  Unless you’re invited to do so, please refrain.  Thanking you kindly.

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